A Christmas Special

 Hello, my friends,

It's been a crazy few weeks, hasn't it? From IUDs to travel to work to work to work! But it's finally holiday time actually it's Christmas Eve and sadly I have to work but I wanted to make a list of all the fun things that can be done on Christmas Eve for a little and CG alike!

• Drink hot cocoa or tea
• Watch old Christmas movies - yes the claymation ones
• Wrap gifts for others
• Make crafts and paints
• Decorate trees and rooms
• Go out and see the lights!
• Cook and eat cookies
• Write Christmas and New Years cards
• Put up lights inside
• Color Christmas pages
• Read "The Night Before Christmas"
• Put out milk and cookies for Santa
• Play in the snow or at least outside
• Finish your advent calendar (last night!)
• Decorate with paper rings!
• Make snowflakes out of paper
• Snuggle and stay warm
• Decorate stockings and fill them up with candy!
• Last-minute shopping
• Enjoy a lovely meal together 
• Follow Santa on Google 
• Eat that candy- yes you can!!!

I hope you have a lovely holiday season and a happy new year! Enjoy it with your CG, friends, or family whoever makes you happy!

Peace and Joy,

Pannyboi41

I'm Back!

 Hey There!

It's been a  while but I am back! Not only back to the blog but back to New Hampshire! I went to see my daddy in Texas and had a really good time and I am really excited to tell you all about it.

I had a really easy flight coming in. I stayed at my brother's house which is closer to the airport and my dad drove me in, he also bought me a bagel and coffee which was a nice treat before my flight. Security was easy and this one really nice TSA agent asked my age thinking I was younger than 18, it was really silly.  Once on the plane, I had the entire row to myself and the plane had free wifi, chargers, and TVs, it was super cool!

I met with my daddy and we drove to his place. I took a lovely shower with him and we rested a little. I didn't really sleep the night before because of my new medication, so it was nice to cuddle and rest with him. That night we went to one of my favorite restaurants in Texas. A small Indian place where I ate to my heart's content. 

The next day was a little crazy! We had a rehearsal dinner for my daddy's sister's wedding. He was in the wedding but I just sat around in the blazing heat trying not to melt. To make up for the heat daddy took me to the mall where I got a few new books and a cute outfit for my build a bear. Daddy also bought me these super cute anime figure keychains. At the dinner, we had some yummy food and daddy let me have a glass of wine. That night I got a little more sleep. 

The next day was the wedding. We got ready and went to the outdoor venue. I got to meet so many people that were related to my daddy that I had never met before. It was really cool and super fun to meet everyone. The only thing was even at 4:30 PM is was well over 100 degrees and over 98% humidity. I was sweating so bad and I felt really awful for being so gross at the wedding. After the ceremony we had dinner and I took care of my daddy as he was also really hot. We ate some food and talked with his family some more and enjoyed our first wedding together. 

The next few days were super relaxing! We spent them sleeping in eating my favorite foods including Mexican, french (my favorite restaurant in the entire world), Asian and American. We went to see the new   Sword Art Online movie which was surprisingly good and we went shopping a few more times in various malls. It was just an easy-going experience with my daddy. 

My daddy really shined (as usual) when I got this really bad rash/acne on my back from sweating so bad at the wedding. I was super upset about it to the point of crying in his arms. I also was upset because I had read that I could get bad acne from my IUD. My daddy brought me to the store and bought me a ton of products for my face and body to make me feel better. He also bought me more pads because I was running low. He was not embarrassed at all and was so willing to even buy me the "good" ones. 

The flight home was a bad one. Not only was my plane delayed a bunch of times, but it was so hard to say goodbye to my daddy. I cried so much saying goodbye and even cried on the plane a few times. It was just so hard. I miss him every day. What really hit me hard was he called me a particular pet name that just shot right to my heart. 

But it got worse...when my dad came to pick me up from the airport he was acting kind of weird. Once we were in the car he turned to me and said he couldn't hold it in any longer. He said my fish that he had been taking care of had died. I bawled my eyes out. I just sat there and cried as my dad held me and cried with me. He was so upset that the fist had died in his care. I miss my Joy so much. 

Sorry for the mess of a story,

I miss you Joy and Daddy,

Pannyboi41

Something Scary!

 Hello my friends,

This might be NSFW - talk of IUD insertion (this may make some people uncomfortable) 

So I wanted to talk about something that happened recently its really not a little/ddlb thing but I find this a safe space where I can talk about what is going on in my life. Yesterday I had to get and IUD inserted. I made the choice to do it because I will be starting hormones soon and I wanted to make sure I don't get pregnant, it's also safer for my body. These IUDs also don't put a lot of the female hormones in my body compared to other methods of BC. My daddy and I use other protection too but we find this to be that safety option and will protect us, me and allow me to transition. 

Here is the scary part. I scheduled the appointment and I had heard that it was going to hurt but I didn't think much of it. It was about a month after I had planned the appointment that I had the procedure. Throughout the month I was always looking at Reddit and other forums about getting the IUD. This made me so scared - some people pass out! 

So the night before the insertion I had to put these weird pills inside of myself. They made me have contractions so my body would be ready for the placement. I had to take on the night before it is made it really hard to sleep. I also had my COVID booster so I was double sick. It was really hard to sleep but I got through it. 

The morning of I used the medication again. I also had to work most of the day. It was hard getting through it with some of the worst cramps I have ever had in my life plus I was bleeding  a bit. But I got through it and 1 hour before the appointment I took Advil to help with the pain. 

I got to the office and a really nice older nurse came in to help me get ready. She asked me a bunch of questions that were pretty basic for a doctors visit and I had to do a pregnancy test. When I came back with the test the nurse brought in a huge I mean HUGE needle. It had to be like afoot long. I tried not to look but it was hard not to notice. The nurse apologized and told me she was going to get it on the tray before I came in but I was too quick. She then said that I wouldn't even feel it. I laughed and said "that's what they all say". She gave me a sheet and had me undress from the waist down. I sat on the table on the paper and a medical pad and I waited for the doctor. 

She came in and asked if I was nervous I told her I was and she said it would be okay. She asked a few more questions and then did an internal exam. That was quick and painless but then she brought out the speculum. I always hate those as I have a small body and they pinch all over. I tried to relax as the doctor did some more feeling and looking. She then cleaned my cervix with iodine. This felt really weird but nothing painful. She then told me to cough, a really good cough. The nurse stood beside me and tried to calm me down a bit. So I coughed a few times and the nurse asked if I could feel it. I said no and she smiled "I told you so," she said. So after that I didn't really know what happened besides a horrible pain when the clamp was used.  I gave out a few shouts of pain and the doctor apologized and kept working. The nurse kept telling me to take deep breaths. I tried to relax as the device was inserted inside of me. This also hurt a bit but nothing like the clamp. After that the clamp was removed and she had to cut the strings. This was funny as the first pare of scissors didn't work so she had to get  a second set. She had to be careful as dull scissors could pull everything out. 

It was finally over and she pulled all the tools out. I was bleeding a bit and she cleaned me up a a bit. The nurse and doctor told me to stay laying down with my legs up. When the IUD is inserted it causes a really bad contraction and this reduces blood pressure. So I rested there a while and slowly got up. the nurse came back and helped me get up and stand. She was really polite and even hide behind the current when I got up. I mean she saw everything so it was kind of funny to see her hide when while I was naked. So I changed and cleaned myself up. I was still bleeding a little so I used a pad to keep clean. 

I was finally done! It wasn't the worse thing in the world, but it hurt for sure. The scariest part was my daddy wasn't there to hold my hand. If he was there I wouldn't feel anything and feel protected and safe. I mean the nurse did a great job at keeping me calm and the doctor was amazing (as she usually is with me even calling me my preferred name and is very good with my body and my dysphonia). I did text my daddy to tell him it was done and he was so proud of me. I was so scared before and I texted him right until I had it done. He made me feel so good about getting it done and how it will make out life better. 

Once home I spent the night in bed as I was cramping a lot and the doctor told me to spend the night watching Netflix and relaxing. So it was all over!

So this was a weird experience to me. It wasn't even that dysphonic, I thought it was going to be terrible but my doctor was so good and just made me feel so comfortable and safe. 

Sooooo on a totally different note... I get to see my daddy!!! I am flying to see this Thursday!! I can't wait and I will tell you all about it once I get back next Thursday. The nice thing is daddy gets to take care of me because I am still feeling yucky from the IUD and he said he would buy me something special for being such a  brave boy.

Until next time,

Safe and Protected,

Pannyboi41